<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/751425709882129654?origin\x3dhttp://leimen-ray.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
.Sunday, September 26, 2010.

Recently, i got this feeling. That all the bonds of YOG are going to disappear from our daily life. All the friendship and all the sweet memories. Everyone is integrating back to their own life, their own path , their own future. All, we can do now, is keep contacting each other in times to times. However as times goes, it get harder and harder to start a conversation and ending one. Topics become dry and it can hardly can any life to it as truly, we know only a few facts about the new friends and shared memories are so little compare to our own with other people.

Poly friends meet almost everyday in school during the school term. This daily encounter should have brought a small and simple friendship into a fun and enjoying one where friends bond so well, that they do almost everything together. However, i feel this is not the case for me. Even though i see them regularly, but it doesn't click. I just don't. Maybe our goals are different, maybe our views are. Maybe i am just a fool pursuing a good education and just seeking good friends plus maybe my other half will be good. Where other may just want life to just flow and seek happiness and fun daily and then full of regrets after. Life is full of Regrets.

Love is such a interesting feeling. Well, Like is another interesting feeling. From a 2 sided like can become love. OR NOT. Sibling love , parent love , the warmth of friendship and then the love of your life ,your other half. However loving someone is different from liking someone for my view. liking someone may only be of a certain period which loving someone means a life time commitment. Liking can go with the times. I like this I like that. However if you love something or someone, you feel it cannot be change, it sticks with you for life time.

Well, now in my life. Maybe i had love JiaEn when i was super young. Then maybe had a crush on SzeLing in p4. Then maybe my first relationship with Priscilla in sec4. Well, i had this weird feeling in primary school. I do like all the girls that i am friends with, maybe they too have the same feeling but when a feeling with another girl is different, People and i then to feel that is love. However, i was wrong. Well,i didnt really have a crush with SzeLing. It was just infatuation with a full day encounter at a difficult course causing physically contact. Well, i still miss JiaEn, We lost contact since young, will not expect she to remember me. We both had change in term of look and size so maybe we may had brushed past we will not know for sure. I still remember the times we spent and i do miss her. MY first relationship was a nightmare. I took the wrong step and it carried on to the stage of no return. Well, that was not love, I pitied her and took it as love . Well, i was wrong. So i ended it quick and do not want to remember it.

Well, maybe when i say i love Yiseul. I do not know why. Who knows am i attracted to her body? well,i guess i was attracted to her due to a unknown feeling? I feel close to her even though we just met not long. Well, it was just maybe my imagination. She is a busy girl and a lovely one. Just hope she find a nice guy. Now slowly i am getting to understand guy sexually attracted to some gals and the other way too. Well, guess these is just unwanted feeling from both gender. It is something that you do not knowingly. For me, girls who have long hair and is wearing a tee shirt with shorts attract my eyes. Haha, i thinking is this my preference?

Well, i got one thing that i keep close to my heart. On sec 3 on my birthday, i received a anonymous letter. Well, it might be a prank but it was a happy thing for me. Well, it was a confession letter but i do not know it is by who. cuttiegurlzx* was her written name. I wish i could know her. Even if we cannot be together, she could have been my best friend and who knows maybe in the future we can be together. This is the letter i will read when i am really down or when i need someone and there is noone for me. The last sentence is touching. i will alwayys b there for euu. well, she may not be with me but this sentence warms my heart and make me go on. since it has been 2 years going 3 years. I wish that i will see her when i turn 18 next year. I really want to know her. Even though it may be a prank or what i want to thank her.

Well, just like i stated before, if she really love me, that feeling will never be gone but if she only like me then she may not remember this letter or me. Well, i hope if she really lurbb me, she will appear and b there for me.



Y
LeIMen-Ray
8:48 PM